Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
