whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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