i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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