No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
