brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
