Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
