His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
