Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
