hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
