isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
