My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize
