Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
