3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm getting married
To pizza
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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