Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize