i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Semen is not good for contacts.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
