my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
