I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
