We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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