It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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