i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
