Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
