we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
