in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
