Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
