I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
