I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
