people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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