I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
