Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
