Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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