Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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