the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
