If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
