Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
