once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
