His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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