Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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