I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
