8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She bit a glass in half.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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