Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
