GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
