Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
