ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
