you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
