i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
