ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
