She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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