am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
and you fell through a lawn chair
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
