so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
