ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
