I hope mine doesn't look like that
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
