Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
