We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
3pm strippers are depressing
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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