He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
